Self-Esteem, What is it Exactly, and Why You Need it to Lead A Happy Life.
La-la-la-la-la, I got no self-esteem. You’re not singing the song, are you? Awkward.
Self-esteem, what is it? I guess you could call it an extension of courage, confidence, self-awareness. But if you’re struggling with self-esteem, it’s probably because you need more of it. How can you get more? By doing more things!
I’ll be honest, I am a recovering people-pleaser. Now I won’t bore you with the details but life was easier making other people happy, and I like life being easier. But there comes a point in most people’s lives that they have bent all that they can and now they broke. That’s where self-esteem comes in.
Just because you had no self-esteem doesn’t mean you can’t!
Like most other things, self-esteem can be built. I remember my friend growing up never felt confident. While I labored over and over that it was something that can be built, they never believed me. But I know it can be built because I have done it myself.
Just like riding a bike, you don’t innately know how to do it at first. Nor do you know how to walk for the first months of your life, but you learn by doing. Self-esteem can be the same!
You can feel the fear but still, do it anyway.
A lack of self-esteem is really allowing your fears to take control. Maybe you fear that you’re not good enough, not smart enough, not enough. But those are just self-limiting beliefs that you impose on yourself. Fear can be great! It can save you from situations that may put you at risk, but you also have to understand that it may be keeping you from situations that may give you everything that you want.
“Change begins at the end of your comfort zone,”
Life is a risk because it only ever ends one way. We are all headed towards the same destination, but what you do with your time here is up to you.
That doesn’t mean it will work out.
Of course, not everything you set out to do will work out for you, which can take a toll on your self-esteem. But true self-esteem comes with weathering the storm. It is true faithfulness that no matter what comes it will be alright. What is meant for you will find you.
And everything that can go wrong will go wrong. That is the storm meant to test you. Do you really want what you’re going for? The universe will test you every which way but it is up to you on how you handle it.
If you want anything bad enough there is no storm that can throw you. Alternately, not wanting it bad enough and you will soon let it go. Both can be brutal on your self-esteem, do you trust yourself enough to go for it?
Self-esteem is rooted in trusting yourself.
If you constantly give up when the going gets tough you will never have strong self-esteem. Not honoring yourself enough to go after what you want and not stop until you get it is teaching your brain that you don’t deserve what you want. As well as teaching yourself that you are not trustworthy with your dreams.
Ways to get out of your head and into your goals are practicing mindfulness, meditating on your desires, daily affirmations to eliminate those self-limiting beliefs, and finding a mentor. You don’t have to go it alone, but you do need to get out of your own way.
Practicing mindfulness will just help remind you where you are at in your journey and open yourself up to what is really going on. Is that problem you can’t conquer just you in your own way? Or is it because your heart really isn’t in it? Meditating on your desires will give you some of those answers and practicing daily affirmations will help you to manifest your desires and quiet that ‘I am not enough’ voice. And finally, getting a mentor will show you the path of least resistance to your desires.
Just don’t live a life of playing it safe.
Would you rather at the end of your life eulogy to be that you never did anything but what you were supposed to? Great wife, great mother, great neighbor, always did exactly what others wanted of her and never dared to dream? Because that’s what a life lived with no self-esteem sounds like to me.
Be bold, be different, be you! Start with small things, start getting outside of that comfort zone and build up that self-esteem and self-worth to go after your big dreams. Respect yourself enough to go after your desires selfishly, no one will do it for you!
Get a mentor or follow someone that inspires you! It doesn’t have to cost anything either, just reading inspiring books can be a great way to find the support you need. Start by celebrating your wins, all of them, every little tiny one and keep building on them until they are big wins.
You can do this and you should do this. The world needs you and your unique talents, so get out there and get them!
Tell me in the comments what your big dream is! Writing it down is a great way to put it out into the universe for you to manifest.
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